opening up scares me. even this scares me. because once its out in the open. then im responsible for changing. and I cant. I wish I was never born. I wish I died last year. I want people to miss me and worry about me. I want them to suffer. and I want my pain to end. im sick of everyone thinking im strong. im not. im weak and I hate myself. and I still love him. and I hate myself for that. I cant move on. because this is all wrong. and no one cares. im sick of pretending like everything is ok. I hate gd. stop punishing me. im a good person!! I was really trying. whyd You let this happen. I want to feel nothing. I want to be dead. and I want them all to come to my funeral and feel pain. and realize what they lost. and what they did to me. and that its too late. and they will never get forgiveness. and he will regret what he's done. all three of them. stop burning me. im burnt to a crisp. theres no where left to fry. im sizzling.
yeah. this week was great!
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