Never again.....

It just hit me that I can never be with him again.
That we are no longer.
We are over.
Signed separation agreement.
Saw his signature.
Dissmising me.
Ending.
Never again.....
Pain.
Tears.
Build a wall.
Paste a smile.
Stand straight.

Never again....

my facebook horoscope for today

"What would happen if you decided to take care of yourself today, Gemini? This is what the planets are trying to tell you. You need to relax, to let yourself be taken care of, and close your eyes and dream. Leave the daily tasks behind. You need peace and quiet. Lie down and release all your worries. You don't need to act and you don't need to react. Just relax."

you know, i'm not really a believer in these kind of things. anything that's superstitious or fluffy just doesn't fit with my personality. so why do i read this horoscope that comes to my facebook page every day? and somehow it always seems to be relevant to my life, or at least to what's going on with me that day.... and of course i know that these things are so general that they can apply to just about anyone who can read them. almost like the fortunes from fortune cookies. we all run to grab one and rip open the plastic to see what some "wise" chinese proverb has to say to us. and what do i get? "you have made the right decision." so i think to myself how glad i am that i decided not to eat that donut because obviously i made the right decision. what stupidity! and yet it doesnt stop me from reading these little blurbs of nothing. hoping they'll come true.

sometimes i wish there was someone around

to share a funny joke with
to ask if theres something in my teeth
to watch a movie w me
to laugh w
to cry w
to take care of me when im sick
to take charge
to care
to notice
to call
to hug me
to hold me

sometimes i wish there was someone around

anxiety

oh dreadful anxiety you give me no rest constantly there nagging me oh dreadful anxiety you torture me suffocate me blind me oh dreadful anxiety think worry fear oh dreadful anxiety leave me be give me space go away oh dreadful anxiety how I dream of peace tranquility and quiet where are my pills? o phew, I found them. glass of water in hand. gulp. oh dreadful anxiety you control me no more not tonight sleep